George Takei is boldly going where no one has gone before. Well, where no one has gone before and come out not torn to shreds by the legions of Twi-hards. You see, not so long ago in a galaxy not so far away, a war broke out between two different but equally geeky enthusiastic factions, and the great Star Wars vs. Star Trek debate was born. Refusing to let a good feud die, both William Shatner and Carrie Fisher have recently stoked the flames of that fire, and now the erstwhile Sulu has stepped up to put an end, once and for all, to the unending dispute. By urging both sides to unite in their disdain for the Twilight series.

“Fellow Star folks, cool it down and shut your big wormholes,” implores Takei in a video uploaded to YouTube. “Each is wonderful in its own special way. What’s needed today now more than ever is star peace, for there is an ominous, mutual threat to all science fiction. It’s called Twilight and it is really, really bad.” The fighting words didn’t end there, and Takei went on to take down Kristen Stewart’s brooding, Robert Pattinson’s, well, sparkling, and—gasp!—even Taylor Lautner’s shirt-eschewing. MORE: Quick—what would you do if Robsten broke up?! “Gone is any sense of heroism, camaraderie or epic battles. In its place, we have vampires that sparkle, moan and go to high school. Now, I’m not above mixing in a little sex appeal to spice up the fantasy, but sci-fi fans be warned, there are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be found in Twilight. Nooo…In Twilight, the only message that rings through loud and clear is: ‘Does my boyfriend like me?’ “Let us band together to combat this mutual threat.” Uh, something tells us he may not be living so long or prosperously after Twilight fans catch wind of this. Read more at www.eonline.com